I have this tendency to just box myself in when changes need to be made. Make a list: 1, 2, 3. Be disciplined and focused. All of these things I use to think would help me to be successful. But I wonder if I spend too much time trying to fix my life than I do walking through whatever is in front of me.
I feel I have forgotten the beauty of the journey.
I look to what other people are doing and think if I could just be as disciplined as them or maybe do what they are doing then I will find the success they have.
We learn more through finding our strength in the journey. Too often we get brought down by the struggles of life and we put so much effort into fixing the problem so that we will never have to endure that painful event or situation ever again. As believer’s we have been misled into putting ourself in boxes so that we will be “safe” and so that “evil” will stay away from us.
Religion has given us this false sense of security.
We think our righteous deeds will provide a bubble for us that no one else will have, and then when our plan fails, we blame God. We struggle with stories like the book of Job because in our eyes it doesn’t make any sense how a righteous man could suffer so much.
Our eyes are bent on justice when God’s heart is bent on mercy and grace.
We look for God in what He gives us, and really He can be found in everything, even our loss, because He is there through it all.
Those moments of love and compassion is God’s way of shouting His love towards us. His mercy is tender, and when our hearts are suffering through the refiner’s fire, He is there walking with us. If we would just look for Him then maybe our heart would change, too, instead of being consumed by all that is weighing us down.
We will be bow down to something or someone in this life. Maybe we bow down under the weight of what other people think of us, or our life that is falling apart, but God wants us to bow down to Him in worship. However, if we are already bowing down under the pressure of the injustice of the world then we won’t bow down to Him in worship.
Before we can worship Him we first need to rise above the pain of this world, and the injustice of it all. Once we rise we can then find our praise and worship in Him.
We need to stop panicking with every twist and turn this life throws at us and we need to truly take it one day at a time. Our hearts need to realize that injustice and suffering doesn’t begin with us, nor does it end with us. We are not the only ones going through a rough time, and we are not the only ones who have suffered through loss. But we are called to be like a light shining on a hill.
Where darkness reigns we are to be that hope that shines a light to the exit people are so desperately looking for.
My heart has been burdened with this question: Are we shepherding people through their pain, or are we trying to fix them so that we can hurry up and get to our next destination?
Jesus hasn’t called us to be amazing leaders, He asked us to feed His sheep, cast out demons, and to suffer with grace. He also promised to be OUR shepherd, and that we shall not want.
Life is tragic. My heart is overwhelmed by the burden of it all. I can’t believe what people suffer through. I have seen some people overcome their loss, and I have seen some get buried underneath it all. I can’t help but think we are missing something here, that we truly need to find our light so that we can help others out of the darkness. But we need to first face our pain, and we need to search for our shepherd, and then we need to follow Him.
We need to get out of that box, or that bubble, that says life can be easy and perfect if you just follow the path to self-righteousness. It’s not an easy box to get out of, I have been there done that. It’s easier to stay in that box because once we leave that box we find we are vulnerable, and that’s scary. We realize that life is messy and it’s hard. We are faced with the reality that our salvation is rooted in eternity. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but once we get to that point we can then focus on eternity, and we will only find stability in the name of Jesus, and nothing else.
Often in faith the darker it gets the stronger we get because we find our strength in Jesus. Oh, how often we simply forget. When the trial is over we forget where we found our strength and we feed off of everything else lying in front of us. Right now my heart is saying no more boxes. No more spending time pleasing people, and even trying to make God give us favor and blessings through our deeds. But instead it’s time to get out of the box, maybe I’ve been forced to get out of the box, whatever it may be I am very grateful for this revelation that I was relying on a false security. On something that truly never gave me salvation in this very dark world.
As I sat here trying to make myself write, and trying to motivate myself to just keep pressing on, I had to ask myself why I didn’t want to write. Honestly not sharing what’s on my heart is just another way I try to box myself in because I have been fooled into believing this lie that this is where I am safe. Writing makes me vulnerable and it gets me out of that box…when we get out of that box we finally are able to see what our reality is rather than what we wish it was.
Today, my heart is saying no more boxes…and that’s how I plan to live out my today’s from here on out, and I trust God with the outcome and with whatever comes next.