Late last year there came a point where God spoke to my heart and encouraged me to just sit and watch what He will do. Up until then I had been working to control about every single situation in my life, in particular I was trying to control my husband’s illness. I wanted him better and I was determined to see that happen.
In my efforts I sent out prayer requests everywhere I could think of. I had faith that God would heal my husband. I believed and I prayed. There was one point where I prayed every single day, the same exact prayer, in hopes that I would see my husband healed overnight. But that didn’t happen. In fact his illness progressively had gotten worse. Eventually I got discouraged and gave up. I gave up control and in the process I also gave up hope.
When I realized that all hope was gone, that was when I began to send out a prayer request for God to renew my hope and my vision for the future. Because in my eyes if my husband wasn’t healed then life as *I* had planned it was over. Where was the hope if I couldn’t actually determine what I was going to receive in this life?
The beginning of my renewed hope began with God telling me to sit back and watch what He was going to do. I did feel a relief from not having to manipulate and maneuver this very confusing time in my life. I honestly had no idea what I was doing however I was determined to find the formula that was going to heal my husband and get me what I wanted out of life. I was determined to get what I wanted and create the life I thought God wanted for us. But the hypocrisy in that is that I wanted His will, and yet I was working towards mine.
So it has been a process of letting go and trusting God even when life doesn’t go the way I desired it to go. I have seen so many amazing things happen in the past four months and I continue to see more doors opening. Honestly I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life, and yet I have never felt more fulfilled either.
I’m not really sure how this all works. How I can have hope when honestly I don’t know what it is I am hoping for? Or how I can still hope when my prayer for healing over my husband goes unanswered? But I do. I still hope. I have hope that no matter what God will be glorified. But most of all I do hope that whatever happens, lives will be changed and people will commit their life to Christ. That is a true desire in my heart, that everyone who does not know Christ will come to know Him before it’s to late, and I know that’s what my husband wants too…
Love is selfless and it is constantly pursuing ways to bridge the gap of disconnection in the world. Love brings freedom, not only to us, but also to those around us. When we are walking in love we desire the best for people. In this four week mini Bible Study come and explore what unconditional love looks like in your life today.