Whenever someone offends me it's hard to just “forget.” In fact it's almost impossible for me to forget what another person has done to me. When there is lying or betrayal especially, it takes awhile for me to get to the point of forgiveness. Even though I have been offended I know that I need to forgive, this typically leads me through a process of prayer to God, and if at all possible, reconciliation with the person that offended me.
I know there are major offenses out there that are even more difficult to forgive. I have to say I personally don't know what all these offenses feel like, nor do I understand the magnitude of the pain that accompanies the offense. But one thing I do know is that there is not a person on the face of this earth that is mentally capable of simply FORGETING an offense.
Today during my prayer time I kept thinking about how I had personally offended a person. Everytime I offend someone I always have a moment where I wish I could take it back, especially if that person is having a difficult time forgiving me, or if that person is someone I care about. I think we all desire for people to forget our offense or we wish we had never committed the offense in the first place.
During my prayer time I was beating myself up mentally, repenting to God yet again for the offense made, and then I came to the conclusion that I just wasn't going to say sorry anymore for something I had already apologized for. It's hard when people choose not to accept your repentance or if you want to move forward in reconciliation…sometimes people choose not to forgive, that's when we need to step away from the guilt and the shame of our offense and remember that the payment for our offense was paid for on the cross.
Even when I have offended someone, I realize the offense can never be taken away.
I honestly think we look at God and expect Him to just “forget.” Just forget our offense. Why do we assume that mercy is easy for God when it's not easy for us? Mercy and grace is hard, it requires sacrifice, and all the while we are very aware of what we are giving up in order to offer up mercy and grace, we are giving up justice.
I think mercy is hard for God. He knows more about what goes on in this world than I do, and yet I have less restraint than Him, and my temper flares when someone writes an offensive post on Facebook. God witnesses everything that goes on in this world and by His grace we are still here, living and breathing. The only peep we here from God is “I love you.”
My heart has been changed by His grace and mercy forever. Today I stopped condemning myself for my mistakes, and I can only pray that those whom I have offended will do the same. Today I will offer a little more mercy and grace to those around me, but only through the help of The Holy Spirit because Lord knows I can't just simply “forget” an offense. But through the power of The Holy Spirit, and through the grace of God shown through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, I WILL CHOOSE to forgive…