This post was going to be about all the things I regretted in my life and how I was going to use my past mistakes in order to make sure I don’t get caught in the same patterns that I used to get caught in. But it felt a bit overwhelming because after looking at how I handled things in the past, and how I am handling some situations right now in my life, it was more of a burden than a feeling of freedom.
The truth of the matter is, we all make mistakes.
Some of us might be old enough (ahem!) now to realize that one day we will need to exit this world just like everyone else. It doesn’t matter if you are smart, beautiful, and you do everything right, Holy, and pure, or if you are the opposite of all these things, we all have the same fate. Eventually you get to a point in your life where you realize there isn’t an act, or a deed, that you can do that will make you better or more important than the next person.
There is no reason on God’s green earth why someone should choose to read my books over the next author’s books. I am not a better writer, nor do I know more than the next person.
There is no reason on God’s green earth as to why I live where I live, have what I have, or do what I do.
I have children and some people don’t.
I have a husband and others don’t.
I have a home, friends, a family and other’s don’t.
No matter what it is: What I have or don’t have is not a reflection on God’s favor in my life.
I used to think that a lot of my troubles in life were a result of my mistakes in the past. There have been many nights and days of me crying in my closet asking God how long I was going to have to pay for my mistakes.
I wondered how long was I going to have to walk around with the evidence that I have in fact lived a sinful life, and still struggle with the insecurities that have yet to go away. I worried about whether or not my children and grandchildren were going to have to suffer for my sin.
I was redeemed – I wondered when was that going to be evident.
But here is the thing: We regret our life because we worry the mistakes of our past will affect our future.
The lie that we have been believing is that God could never redeem our past. Or that even though we have made mistakes, and maybe we weren’t disciplined enough, or maybe we did give up, then we have missed out or we walked away from something important.
I remember when I started my first website, I knew nothing about starting a website. I bought a domain in January 2005 and until August 2005 I was learning how to hand code a website in HTML using Frontpage (are y’all even old enough to remember frontage?!?!)
Frontpage doesn’t even exist anymore.
Spellcheck doesn’t even recognize this strange word “frontpage.”
That first website I created from scratch no longer exists.
Y’all probably never even visited my very first website.
I stepped away from that ministry that was so embedded in my heart in order to work full time from home doing blog design (that doesn’t exist anymore, either!)
I used to think that was a huge mistake. It was one of those events that I regretted because I thought I had given up on God and instead chose to pursue other things, like wealth. Maybe I did, but the burden of regret releases when I realize that every step I made has led me to where I am today.
I hope that the works of God is displayed in the things that I do today. I have learned a lot when it comes to working through my regrets in life. I have been struggling with so much disappointment lately, and my first reaction is to make sure I never do the same thing again. But like I said, that doesn’t free me it just creates this heavy burden.
If truly nothing separates us from God’s love, then even through my mistakes God still loved me. When I look back, I know that to be very true.
If there is nothing we can do to earn God’s favor, love, and mercy then what are our mistakes?
Out of my greatest sins and temptations have come my greatest convictions!
In order to bear much fruit we need to be yoked to something so much greater than worry and fear.
Sometimes we don’t ask for temptation to come knocking at our door, but it does. Sometimes sin punches us in the stomach and we often wonder how or what happened. Maybe I have lost my marbles, but I truly am wondering if we really know and walk in God’s grace.If there is a burden of regret then maybe there is an absence of grace.
God can truly press the reset button on your life. He has done it to mine recently from my husband starting a new fire department, to us finding another church, to a new start with the ministry that has been on my heart for years.
But with this fresh new start came sacrifice. We both have had to walk away from things that not only gave us security, but have also been a constant in our life for many, many years.It is ONLY by God’s grace that we were able to walkaway and let go. It was fear and doubt that kept us in the same place for many, many years.
It wasn’t easy unhooking the yoke and the burden of fear and doubt, and then yoking to Jesus which is full of grace.
What we did may seem drastic to most people, but I honestly feel like God wanted us to do all of this so much sooner.
But it was my husband who saw we needed a fresh start, and he was the one who started the process of moving forward. He was the leader who I believe led us to something better, God’s amazing grace in our life.Regret comes when cling to something for security, when “it” fails us we become fearful and insecure.
But when our heart and eyes are focused on Jesus, then we find our security.
Things are definitely different now. There is a lot less regret, and more of a heart of gratitude that even God can do mighty things IN the broken and THROUGH the broken!
Things are better now. My convictions are stronger, and so is my love for the One who has given me more than I ever deserved. The sin and the temptations no longer have a hold on me. God most certainly used those things to make my heart towards Him even stronger.
If you’ve ever struggled with temptation or sin (news flash, we ALL have), then you know it’s not an easy battle. There might even be a war going on in your mind about how much you don’t want these things to have so much power and control over you.
When God says FLEE, He means it.The greatest lesson I am learning in this season is to walkaway, and to let go.
When we live a life of regret we need to take our tough questions, and our very delicate feelings to God. We need to have the courage to ask Him what it is we need to let go of, say no to, or walkaway from. Then grace will reign in our life, not regret or disappointment…
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. – John 9:3