I remember telling someone that the people who will spend their time judging them don’t matter.
Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with the mockers. But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. – Psalms 1:1-3
You see, we can’t sit around letting people who don’t know us, our struggles, or even our faith to control what we do with our lives and what our next steps should be.
When we judge people it most certainly creates this massive wall that is almost impossible to break down, that’s why I don’t even waste my time trying to tear it down.
If that wall is there, I typically just move on because I have personally learned that true friendship, and trust building, comes through relationships where you are free to process everything you are going through without fear of being judged. It is also built around people who genuinely want to know our struggles, and who show a sincere interest in our lives and in walking this journey with us.
This doesn’t mean we can sit around and gossip about people and tear them down without them being around. This is not transparency.
True transparency is being real about our struggles, not being real about other people’s struggles.
We aren’t building trust when we hurt people and gossip about them behind their backs. It affects our trustworthiness with the person we are talking about, and with the person we are talking to.
The real test comes when we can face the real reason as to why this person is bothering us so much. That is truly the hard part, the part where we are willing to face our own insecurities, our own jealousy, & our own fears.
Oh the joys of those who delight in the laws of the Lord and who meditate on it daily. It’s difficult to allow these negative heart patterns to manifest when we know the truth and we are walking it out.
When we are being judged it will get to the point where it doesn’t scare us anymore. I’ve always feared the judgement of other people even if what they assumed about me wasn’t true.
But the worst is when they are using my weaknesses in order to build a case against me, typically this is done so that they can justify their failures and shortcomings. Even though I know all of this to be true, I need to continue to bring myself to the Word so that I will find strength in His promises, and so that I don’t fall into the same trap of judging my offender.
It is easy to read the Bible, or sit in prayer, and think about all the people who have offended you. Our prayers can easily become times of venting with our Lord, and I am not saying we shouldn’t share our heart with God in this way. But eventually we realize that using scripture to condemn others, and using our prayer time to always vent about the offense doesn’t take us to where this scripture is saying we can go.
In Psalms 1:3 it is saying we will bear fruit in our season and we will prosper in all that we do if we just obey God in this. If we just find our grounding in His truth, pray, and even repent of our own wicked ways, then we will be like a tree planted by the river.
In our house there have been a few offenses lately and I’ve had to seriously correct my children in the way they talk about people behind their backs. I’ve had to check my own heart and mouth at times, too.
One time someone told me that even though their children frustrate them, they decided to change how they talked about them when they weren’t around. At the time I could not understand why it was such a big deal. But too often we hurt the ones we love most when they are not even around.
Talking negatively about someone behind their back is an act of aggression and is not a fair one if you ask me because they aren’t around to defend themselves. What we say builds their reputation, and that’s a dangerous place to be considering our opinion is most certainly one sided.
I could vent about my children to my friends, but does that accurately represent their struggles, or the complete person that they are? The sweet, generous, loving little ones that I KNOW they are! Don’t even get me started on how we truly need to honor our spouse when they are not around, especially when they are not around.
I think this scripture is not only a great tool to help us determine the people we need to surround ourselves with, but also a measure on what type of person we need to be for those we spend our time with, also.
Even though the wall of judgement might go up without us ever putting it there, we can be sure to create space for when that wall comes down by planting out roots in the Word of God, and doing what it says. It’s not our job to tear that wall down, but what we do to that wall, or the person that puts up that wall, is our responsibility.
We can either sit in the same seat as them, or we can turn to the Word and grow.