I think one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with is the possibility that I have disappointed God.
For me it s something I have been wrestling with all my life. Fear has brought me to points where I do not respond in faith simply because I am afraid I will make the wrong decision and disappoint God in some way.
Then there are those moments I know I have disappointed God. It’s not something I am proud of, and I feel like it was very clear when my actions were a disappointment to Him, and also clear when I am being disobedient out of fear.
Sometimes I will even think about how people have disappointed me. Or how I have disappointed other people because I can truly over extend myself by saying “yes” to everyone and everything simply because I do not want to disappoint them. It seems like a vicious cycle, no one wants to be a disappointment, and overcoming when someone has disappointed you is twice as difficult.
A lot of us do not want to feel like we are a disappointment to anyone. Sometimes we will even hide our disappointment in someone else, or even ourselves. I feel we do this because it almost feels like the heartache of what we have done, or how the person feels about us, is a direct reflection of the person we are inside and we feel like our failures are on display for the world to see.
Nobody likes to feel like a failure. But one thing I have learned is that people are going to be disappointed in me no matter how hard I try, and no matter what I will not be able to live this life perfectly this side of heaven. The fact is I am not perfect, and I do make mistakes. Not to mention, when we are living a life for eternity sometimes that means people get offended and hurt in the process because we can’t live a life that revolves around pleasing them.
In this life I am going to make mistakes and fail.
Even if I don’t fail in one person’s eyes, in another person’s opinion I might be a failure.
For that I feel there is grace, and as Christians I feel we need to be able to extend grace to those who disappoint us. Just because someone has disappointed in you doesn’t mean they have stopped loving you. I feel this truth is an extension of God’s heart for us, and will be displayed as spiritual fruit in people’s lives.
My husband and my children have been known to disappoint me and yet I still love them and believe in them. I’m allowed to be disappointed, but I’ve also been given the opportunity to extend grace as well.
I’ve been disappointed a lot lately. Maybe not just lately, but for a couple of years. It’s been difficult and discouraging.
The hardest part about overcoming disappointment is finding that hope again that everything will be OK.
The second most difficult thing about disappointment is finding a way to trust again. Trust the people around you, yourself, and even God.
When my husband was diagnosed with a chronic illness that had no cure I was incredibly disappointed in God, the doctors, and just the direction in which our life was now headed.
Hope eluded me.
Trust is still on the mend.
But when I take it all one day at a time I begin to see God moving and walking out this life with me.
I have been thinking a lot about the “brevity of life” & the meaning of life.
When tragic things happen or when disappointment roots itself in our hearts, we question a lot about our life and the direction it is headed.
But as I was reading a devotional today it talked about how Jesus was so focused on His ministry that He was able to accomplish so much that not all the books in the world could hold every story.
Maybe you are feeling disappointed today because you read the news, or your life is headed in a direction you never anticipated, or maybe someone acted out of their character and you know they could do better.
In all of that, I feel Jesus gives us space to be disappointed. But I also feel Jesus is telling us to focus on the task at hand. Those tasks are to love God & to love people. Pray for those who persecute you & be worthy of the call that God has placed on our lives.
In all honesty the more disappointment I have faced in my life the more I have drawn closer to God, my convictions have grown deeper, and my worship towards God has been more sincere.
It seems disappointment flushes out all the hope that I have in people, things, and even my own accomplishments. Then it replaces it with my one true hope, and that is in Jesus & Eternity.