My grandfather lived a pretty rough life. He never had it easy and he went through a lot of things no one should ever have to go through.
He was a WWII veteran. Single father to four, three girls and one boy. Suffered the loss of his adult daughter. Had PTSD from the war, and had struggled with anger up until he was baptized with the Holy Spirit in 1973.
He was a writer, and when our family visited him last year he told me about how he always wanted to write a fiction story based off of his life story. He said he had seen things that no one should ever have to see.
We were actually visiting him in a nursing home. His health had recently taken a turn for the worse. It was a complete miracle that we were visiting WITH him instead of attending his funeral. I will always remember God’s grace in that moment and on that entire trip.
My heart felt so heavy when he continued to talk about his dreams, the stories he still wanted to write. My grandpa had many stories and revelations to share with the world, and he was 94 years old. All I could think about was how he would probably never get to do any of those things, and he didn’t. He passed away two short months later.
I still wrestled with the fact that it just didn’t seem fair that he had so much more to give to the world, but time just ran out. Often when we look at our elders we often don’t see people who still have dreams and desires. When a 94 year old man passes away we don’t often think about all that he will be missing in life, or all the things he never had the chance to do.
It’s hard because I would have loved to have seen my grandfather write all those books he still had buried in his heart. I think back to those conversations and treasure every word he said.
These conversations left me to contemplate how I personally live my life. Even though my grandfather is no longer with us, I still feel I can honor him with my life. Even though he may have never had a chance to write those stories he had on his heart, I can write mine. Even though he was never able to share the revelation God had placed on his heart, I can share what The Lord has placed on mine.
So often we can get distracted and forget just how short life truly is. Recently my heart has been aching to do things that make an eternal difference. Sure I could do laundry all day, I mean I have “things” I can do. But will they make an eternal difference?
I hate tasks unless the tasks I’m doing making a lasting impact. To me writing is a task, but I am willing to do this task because I have faith it will make an eternal impact.
Life can be distracting, all to often we can focus on our circumstances and dwell in our offenses. All too often we waste our time doing nothing or trying to fix something. But the more I walk this journey the more I SEE God reaching out to me from eternity and showing me where my focus needs to be.
As much time as we think we have, I’m sure it won’t be enough time. I want to focus my days on the eternal blessings. I want to take my focus off the selfish ambitions and the pride that keeps me from fully living for eternity.
I feel if I can do this then it will honor my grandpa who, at the end of his life, prayed for a little more time…
Whatever it may be, my heart’s desire is for eternity. All my earthly treasures and successes I count as loss. Praying my time and my words are all for His kingdom and His glory, because one day my time will run out, too.